According to decades of research, emotional intelligence is fundamentally the ability to understand and manage our emotions. When you know people who always seem to keep their cool or are able to handle even the most uncomfortable situations with grace, it is probably because they have very high chances of manage what they feel. So, if this type of intelligence represents a major role in how we react with others, and not only in the decision- making aspect but also in academic achievements; what happens when people deal with low or even absence of emotional intelligence? Often, family members, friends, employers and coworkers can struggle with poor emotional skills, which make social situations really difficult.
On the other hand, sometimes you might not understand your own emotions, and so you act without thinking how your feelings are going to influence on others, in such cases it might be your self- regulation that needs a little work. The following are some clear signs that may help you identify if you lack of emotional intelligence, therefore you can strive to eliminate those behaviors and habits that only leave you with troubles on the way to proper social relationships in your own day to day life.
You Are Stressed Out & Get into Lots of Arguments
When you are embroiled in disputes with other people like friends, family, co- workers or even random strangers, you are clearly not understanding how others are feelings, this goes totally opposite to self- awareness which as I have previously mentioned is the first major step to a great emotional intelligence. Likewise, unaddressed emotions strain the mind and body, thus your lack of emotional intelligence skills contribute to make stress show up and therefore you find it hard to manage your mood; you are even more exposed to experiment anxiety or depression.
You keep On Blaming Others for What Happens to You
When you lack of emotional intelligence it is very easy for you to have little insight into how your emotions lead to problems, and the first reaction you show is to blame others on what happens to you. It is certainly true that emotions come from within, however when things go wrong this does not translate into that mistaken attitude you adopt where you decide to blame others’ actions on the way you feel; you have to take responsibility for your emotions and stop considering yourself as the victim of the circumstances, otherwise that behavior will only hold you back.
There is a Lack of Empathy
Empathy is another major component which is present in any emotional intelligence skills, so people who lack of it do not get others’ emotions; thus they do not show understanding for them. And since for people that lack empathy is impossible to place themselves in any other person’s shoes, this leads to wreak confusion in many areas of their personal lives, what can also be understood as a difficulty in asserting yourself. When people with low level of empathy are crossed, they default to passive or aggressive behavior easily and this is a clear sign you need to work on eliminating this telltale sign, in order to neutralize hard and toxic thoughts or actions.
You Refuse to Let Resentments Go
Negative emotions are closely linked to holding on resentments; actually there are researches that have shown that holding on grudges can be also understood as holding on to stress, which has a great influence on health problems such as high blood pressure or heart disease. Just thinking about that negative event you experienced sends your body into a fight or flight, and this is a survival mechanism that makes you stand up and fight when faced with a threat.
You Think Other People Are Overreacting to your Comments or Jokes
When you do not know what your triggers are, your comments or jokes may be taken as inappropriate elements in certain situations, but your lack of emotional intelligence does not allow you to perceive that you are not acting the right way and instead you feel that others are simply overreacting or being too sensitive.
Emotional intelligence plays an essential role in success, actually there are many experts who agree on the fact that emotional intelligence might be more important than IQ. The ability to recognize our emotions is a crucial part of this type of intelligence, furthermore when you understand what you feel you are aware of the effects of your actions, moods and feelings on other people. This is the reason why you should monitor your emotional reactions in every aspect of your life, by recognizing this you also know your own strengths and limitations. Strive to find out what the lacking emotional intelligence signs are making you go through difficult times in your life, be sure to correct them and thus you will be open to new information and experiences that will allow you to learn from your interactions with others.
By: Ramsil Marquez