Get to know the differences between real love & attachment

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Have you ever met someone you instantly feel attracted by and you felt the connection you both had have lead you to think that person is the one? This is probably because you feel so comfortable and close with that person that you actually think you have finally found your soulmate. However, it will be essential for you to know yourself and identify if it is about true love, or if it is that you have found yourself attached with that individual not because you love him/her but you need him/her in your life. To help you a little be telling the difference between those major factors, I have selected some interesting differences regarding love and attachment.

Love is passionate. Attachment can settle in a relationship even without desire

According to many psychological studies, attachments can certainly be unhealthy if its foundations are not based on security. When someone develops a secure attachment, then this feeling stem from love. Passion is such an igniting emotion that makes people feel whole with another, this can absolutely lead to confusions as being attached is apathetic since the person only wants to feel needed, no matter if she/he knows that there is nothing in common with her/his partner. Furthermore, once someone develops strong attachments links, this person believes that she/he could tolerate any circumstances with their partner, however without love would totally be a difficult issue to deal with. When you fall in love, the most common feature of such action is the state of euphoria; on the other hand, when you are just attached to someone, you only feel the depth of desire. There are plenty of cases where people do not even like the person they are with, but their fear to be alone makes them develop a fearful avoidant attachment.

When you love, you are selfless. When you are attached, you are selfish

Love means freedom, and when you are in love you will always want the very best for your significant other. In this way, you strive to provide yourself with the great ability to give your best version selflessly; sometimes what your partner needs come before your own necessities, and this is because you are in such an amazing state of awareness as well as acceptance of who you are that you know how to deal with your life and with certain issues that might be occurring in your soulmate’s life. In an opposite way, the most common behaviors of attachments are that couples keep score on those favors they do to each other, they argue over who helps more or even control situations in order to end up dominating the relationship. Love turns your world around, thus when people are merely attached to someone they only strive to manipulate circumstances that best benefit them, and they become emotionally dependent in such an extreme way that they do whatever it takes to control their partners to avoid abandonment. So, the best way to love selflessly is by understanding that you and your significant other should always magnify your potentials, this is how you will build a future together and of course you will avoid an unhealthy attachment.

Love empowers. Attachment focus on who has the power

In case you have found yourself wondering in what type of relationship you are in, you just need to answer this question: are you taking part of a relationship out of fear and with someone who is returning you the same gestures you give? Love is about supporting that individual you have chosen as your soulmate, and when you both truly understand that love empowers then you both look for ways that make you grow together. Sometimes it takes a little bit of retrospect to fully appreciate that you are with someone because you love that person, and thus you both work to become the very best versions of yourselves; you basically stimulate your partner growth’s and he/she does the same with you. Attachment is more about encumbering or constantly fighting that stupid battle of who has the power in the relationship, it seems like couples who only are attached to each other are only focus on controlling, they are unable to solve their own personal problems but instead they are always strengthen an unnecessary dependence that obviously does not allow them to grow.

When it is love, you will love forever. When is mere attachment, you love transiently

Love is everlasting, you and your partner can ultimately break up whether temporarily or permanently but if it is true love, then that love will survive the passage of time. When you truly love someone, no matter if that person is not with you anymore, you will always keep that person near your heart and you will send him/her light and wish him/her the best for the rest of their life. Oppositely, when you are simply attached  you will hold resentment for that person after the breakup; you can actually find yourself playing the victim and feeling betrayed because you assume your partner was obligated to stay with you forever, making you happy at any price.

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